I decided to post my last entry that was actually written in March and not on today’s date, the 25th June. I think I would have posted it anyway but the sentiment of hope that I clung onto in the post has crystallised and grown through my recent behaviour and somewhat tentative progress. All the while, writing these posts these past years, I have been acutely aware that talking about issues without the practical implementation of those wants and needs , is fundamentally useless. If I desire to change and in so doing to perhaps help or influence others with…
Belinda
THE END IS NIGH?
Its quite embarrassing when I glance over some of my previous blogs only to confirm that nothing has changed and I’m still a prisoner to my addictive, ritualistic behaviour. Despite being severely challenged and receiving painful and costly physical wake-up calls, yet still I persist in this inexplicable, damaging and self-limiting behaviour. My expertise in avoidance has been exemplary. Coupled with this are life altering events that have occurred since I last wrote a Post but for how long can I milk these recent challenges as a means for not dealing with my very real and chronic ongoing behaviour? I…
THE C WORD
Being such a creature of habit I have found that when I find a product that I enjoy using or consuming, then I will find ways to source that product even if it means I have to go out of my way to obtain it. I will structure my weekly shop around it and incorporate it into my regular schedule. I have a probable, unhealthy obsession with cottage cheese. As far as I’m concerned there is only one brand in the UK that I consider superior in the cottage cheese world. Its called Longley Farm and they produce a cottage…
BACK ON TRACK?
As with patterns of behaviour in my life, it is no surprise to me that I haven’t written a post for about 6 weeks. This is what I do. I enter into something with great gusto and enthusiam only to let it drizzle down to a soggy blob once the initial spurt of interest and productivity has waned. Its not as though I get bored quickly and replace an activity with something else. Its rather that my rituals and habits have a more insidious and forceful tug and have always been the default setting in my life. This last paragraph…
BRAVE NEW WORLD
Getting across London today, from South West to East took me as long as it takes me to travel from London to Cambridge. I took a bus from Victoria to East Dulwich and it took over an hour for that leg of my journey. Sitting on the upper deck of the bus gave me a bird’s eye view of this amazing city and whilst observing my surroundings, many thoughts came to mind. We are all so comfortable in our own environments and tend to traverse the same routes and patches for the most part. When we occasionally step out and…
SUNNY SKIES
When the weather is good, ie. hot and sunny, people in the UK are transformed. Suddenly everyone is pleasant to everyone else , they are even smiling ( sometimes ). Dingy sidewalks become hives of Mediterranean-emultating pavement cafes, tables adorned with colourful cocktails with little umbrellas sticking out of them. Car rooves are down or off wherever possible and the laughter of children eminates from behind garden walls. Sunglasses are a necessity for 2 reasons: 1) They protect one’s eyes from the harsh rays of the sun 2) They protect one’s eyes from the harsh vision of lily-white topless men…
BRAVE NEW WORLD?
One of the hardest things one faces when one has left one’s country of birth and settled in another far-away land, is that one is unable to support those left behind in times of need. The world is so accessible now and this has led to fragmented families as more of us choose to pursue our lives elsewhere. There are so many parents and grandparents who have to conduct their relationships and witness their grandchildren growing up via Skype or FaceTime. How many little kids think that their granny and grandpa live in their mom’s IPad? Its a sad fact…
BREAD OF LIFE
I’m not sure I could relate to someone whose idea of a sandwich is sliced white factory produced bread, spread with margarine and a slice of processed cheese. In fact, I think that sandwich making would be an excellent way to assess each other when meeting for the first time and would be a great way to figure out if one wants to further pursue a relationship. After all, if the thought of being forced to eat such a tasteless and bland offering as the cheese sandwich described above is abhorrent, then why would one imagine that its maker would…
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR
Returning to London is a total onslaught. I feel like a kettle drum with an over enthusiastic trainee percussionist beating the living daylights out of me. I have two irksome and problematic, intense dislikes . One is loud noise and the other is inconsideration. I find that as I get older, these issues have magnified and I have to constantly talk myself out of letting anything associated with these bugbears get to me. I try to look at them as challenges that God has presented to me to test how far I am prepared to strive in order to have…
THE ULTIMATE TEST
Examine me, O God, and search me; test my heart and mind. Test and confirm, O Lord, one way or the other who and what I am; search my heart and mind . PSALM 26: 2,3 Let us test ourselves; let us examine our lives and return to the way of the Lord. Let us lift not just our hands to God in heaven but also our hearts. LAMENTATIONS 3: 40,41