I’m still in France and before I came over this time, I had set myself 3 goals: 1) To play the piano 2) to learn French and 3) to write that book that I have been thinking about for approximately 15 years. So far so good. I am on Chapter 4 of my book, I am playing the piano and revisiting old melodies that I haven’t played since I left school and I have finally begun learning French via an App called Babbel. Having self-disciple as I have previously mooted is not something that I have exercised much in my…
CHALLENGING CHANGE
VAPIDITY
Whenever I haven’t posted for a while it is fairly guaranteed that I am facing yet another struggle with my demons. Of course there are times when I am ortherwise occupied and unable to sit down and write, – in my case, its usually when I have people around. I am in France and my family have been over here on holiday. However, I can’t use them as an excuse because they returned to the UK a week ago and despite resolving to continue writing, I have been unable to do so. Amidst my blog musings I have been trying…
EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
It dawned on me yesterday that the heart is the only part of us that never, ever rests. Whilst every part of us is being repaired and revived during our sleep, yet the heart is wired to keep on ticking, no matter what. Whilst there are people being kept alive with mechanical and artificial hearts, these cases are extremely rare and our existence is based upon our hearts’ continual beating. There are so many references to the heart. We are called warm or cold-hearted. We are even called heartless when we act in a callous and uncaring manner. Romance and…
FRIENEMY
I have been thinking about the difficult people in my life. You know those people whom you dread having to encounter and when you do, they seem to suck the life blood and energy right out of you? Even if you are just thinking about them ( and they seem to occupy so much of our daily thoughts despite how we feel about them ), they have the extraordinary capacity to invade and pervade our beings as if by osmosis. If one cannot walk away from them or divorce oneself from them , then one needs to find a way…
PLUMB CRAZY
Okay, I admit it. I LOVE assembling flatpack furniture. As long as one has an electric screwdriver and space to lay out all the components and parts, its a breeze. I refuse to belong to that stereotype categorising women as being unable to read maps or build furniture. I’m back in France and spent a happy couple of hours today assembling a suitable disguise for a very ugly loo. Maybe one day I will write a book entitled : ‘ How to renovate bathrooms in France with a French plumber who doesn’t speak a word of English ‘.…
THE MIRROR CRACKED
Why is it that I can be so utterly dedicated and disciplined when it comes to my dietary subsistence and yet so rubbish at all other forms of discipline? Take this blog as an example. I have established to myself that I love to write, that it ticks several boxes for me. Whether I have any talent or not is a moot point. My subject matter should be irrelevant as long as I am actually writing. However, this leads me to question whether my dominant preoccupation with self and my obsession with food-related issues is a two-edged sword. It gives…
BLA, BLA, BLA
You know those moments when you have been talking to someone and it becomes blatantly clear that they aren’t listening to you? This has been occurring with some regularity when I am conversing with my nearest and dearest. He hasn’t yet figured out how to give the illusion that he so interested in what I am saying, when in reality , he is miles away. He is too honest and too transparent for that. Instead, his eyes start wandering and in his case, he will interrupt what I am saying because he has been thinking about what he wants to…
FROZEN- figurative or literal ?
The word ‘ habit ‘ is sometimes a kinder terminology than ‘ addiction ‘. However, in my case, saying that I have habits is a form of denial because what I actually have is an addiction. This was never more apparent to me than this morning. I had already started to fret about my daily routine/ritual/call it what you will , last night. The tussle began whilst I was eating my dinner. I ‘ over-did ‘ it and ate, horrors of horrors, TWO poached eggs with my 4 brussel sprouts, 2 florets of broccoli, spoonful of corn and slice of butternut. Its…
NEW HORIZONS
Its obvious that in order to elicit change, one has to make an effort to step out of one’s comfort zone. No-one is denying this. Quite often the measures that one needs to take are so simple, so obvious and ordinary and yet, they become this unattainable quest and seemingly impossible. It is only when one takes that first step that one can look back and realise that it only requires a simple decision. However, just stepping out once doesn’t effect any lasting changes or benefits. The key is to continue along this new route until it becomes commonplace and…
THE WHEELS OF THE BUS
Sometimes the pool is empty and there is nothing inside. This leads to some dangerous and destructive behaviour in the life of an addict because it is invariably accompanied by a plethora of negative, guilt-ridden, self-doubting inner conversations that only serve to exacerbate and escalate an already unhealthy situation. Yesterday was the same and tomorrow will invariably follow suite. If I know all this, then why don’t/can’t I jolly well do something about it? If I look at it objectively, I get so irritated with myself for this indulgent and useless behaviour and the fact that I haven’t the gumption…