Well, it certainly isn’t Fiction. In fact, it’s too mind-numbingly tedious to be anything other than my own sad, sorry tale , best kept to myself and for myself. The Fact is this: I am so terrified, so filled with fear and self-loathing that I dare not think beyond the notion that I am attending my first therapy appointment tomorrow. It is the first positive thing I have done recently in the attempt to rid myself of this scourge that has blighted me all of my life but never worse than it’s been of late. I have little hope and…
Spiritual
Dying flame or flickering candle?
I’m probably at the most critical point in my life. I feel that I am about to cross over that imperceptible line , the line that when you cross it, you are unaware you’ve crossed over but by which time it is too late anyway, you are lost forever. I feel that I am barely clinging on and quite frankly, I am terrified. I’m terrified because up until this point, I haven’t been able to change things or make a significant difference to my general malaise and constant quandary: how to escape this fortress that I have imprisoned myself in.…
INVALUABLE
Lord, thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older. Keep me from getting too talkative, and thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken. Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy; thou knowest, Lord, that what I want most is a few friends at the end. Unknown
THE ULTIMATE TEST
Examine me, O God, and search me; test my heart and mind. Test and confirm, O Lord, one way or the other who and what I am; search my heart and mind . PSALM 26: 2,3 Let us test ourselves; let us examine our lives and return to the way of the Lord. Let us lift not just our hands to God in heaven but also our hearts. LAMENTATIONS 3: 40,41
MORE THAN A GLIMMER
I’ve come to the end of another sojourn in France and I return to London in a couple of days. I have been more than aware that this time around, my stay in France has been different to previous visits not only because of what I have been doing but because I am feeling different about myself. For the first time , perhaps in my life, I have achieved some of the goals I set myself and I cannot underestimate the significance and the impact this has had on my behaviour. I have managed to reflect without feelings of guilt,…
BLESSED ASSURANCE
I have just read Psalm 103. For me, it says it all and it fills me with hope, joy and inner peace. At those times when we feel overwhelmed by our daily battles, its such a relief to know that we can hand them all over to The One who created us and who loves us more than we could ever imagine. It is only right therefore to sing His praises and to adore Him !
VAPIDITY
Whenever I haven’t posted for a while it is fairly guaranteed that I am facing yet another struggle with my demons. Of course there are times when I am ortherwise occupied and unable to sit down and write, – in my case, its usually when I have people around. I am in France and my family have been over here on holiday. However, I can’t use them as an excuse because they returned to the UK a week ago and despite resolving to continue writing, I have been unable to do so. Amidst my blog musings I have been trying…
NEW HORIZONS
Its obvious that in order to elicit change, one has to make an effort to step out of one’s comfort zone. No-one is denying this. Quite often the measures that one needs to take are so simple, so obvious and ordinary and yet, they become this unattainable quest and seemingly impossible. It is only when one takes that first step that one can look back and realise that it only requires a simple decision. However, just stepping out once doesn’t effect any lasting changes or benefits. The key is to continue along this new route until it becomes commonplace and…
WISDOM
To know the will of God is the highest of all wisdom. When we come to the end of ourselves, we come to the beginning of God. Billy Graham Rest in peace, great man.
The legend about the wandering Jew who was suffering the punishment of eternal suffering is very true. In the same way, there is a legend about a man who was punished by being given a life without any suffering. Leo Tolstoy