I haven’t written anything these past days due to the most pernicious , continual headaches borne out of the injury at the top of my spine. I have had days of utter despair to disbelief that I am constantly bombarded by issues that I feel are so unjust and unfair. I have rallied against evil forces at work , become a victim feeling sorry for myself – I have vented to God all my disappointment and disbelief that He is doing nothing to help me. I have gone around in circles trying to find justification both in my responses and…
PRACTICAL STEPS
THE C WORD
Being such a creature of habit I have found that when I find a product that I enjoy using or consuming, then I will find ways to source that product even if it means I have to go out of my way to obtain it. I will structure my weekly shop around it and incorporate it into my regular schedule. I have a probable, unhealthy obsession with cottage cheese. As far as I’m concerned there is only one brand in the UK that I consider superior in the cottage cheese world. Its called Longley Farm and they produce a cottage…
BACK ON TRACK?
As with patterns of behaviour in my life, it is no surprise to me that I haven’t written a post for about 6 weeks. This is what I do. I enter into something with great gusto and enthusiam only to let it drizzle down to a soggy blob once the initial spurt of interest and productivity has waned. Its not as though I get bored quickly and replace an activity with something else. Its rather that my rituals and habits have a more insidious and forceful tug and have always been the default setting in my life. This last paragraph…
MORE THAN A GLIMMER
I’ve come to the end of another sojourn in France and I return to London in a couple of days. I have been more than aware that this time around, my stay in France has been different to previous visits not only because of what I have been doing but because I am feeling different about myself. For the first time , perhaps in my life, I have achieved some of the goals I set myself and I cannot underestimate the significance and the impact this has had on my behaviour. I have managed to reflect without feelings of guilt,…
GREY MATTER
I’m still in France and before I came over this time, I had set myself 3 goals: 1) To play the piano 2) to learn French and 3) to write that book that I have been thinking about for approximately 15 years. So far so good. I am on Chapter 4 of my book, I am playing the piano and revisiting old melodies that I haven’t played since I left school and I have finally begun learning French via an App called Babbel. Having self-disciple as I have previously mooted is not something that I have exercised much in my…
VAPIDITY
Whenever I haven’t posted for a while it is fairly guaranteed that I am facing yet another struggle with my demons. Of course there are times when I am ortherwise occupied and unable to sit down and write, – in my case, its usually when I have people around. I am in France and my family have been over here on holiday. However, I can’t use them as an excuse because they returned to the UK a week ago and despite resolving to continue writing, I have been unable to do so. Amidst my blog musings I have been trying…
EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
It dawned on me yesterday that the heart is the only part of us that never, ever rests. Whilst every part of us is being repaired and revived during our sleep, yet the heart is wired to keep on ticking, no matter what. Whilst there are people being kept alive with mechanical and artificial hearts, these cases are extremely rare and our existence is based upon our hearts’ continual beating. There are so many references to the heart. We are called warm or cold-hearted. We are even called heartless when we act in a callous and uncaring manner. Romance and…
PLUMB CRAZY
Okay, I admit it. I LOVE assembling flatpack furniture. As long as one has an electric screwdriver and space to lay out all the components and parts, its a breeze. I refuse to belong to that stereotype categorising women as being unable to read maps or build furniture. I’m back in France and spent a happy couple of hours today assembling a suitable disguise for a very ugly loo. Maybe one day I will write a book entitled : ‘ How to renovate bathrooms in France with a French plumber who doesn’t speak a word of English ‘.…
THE MIRROR CRACKED
Why is it that I can be so utterly dedicated and disciplined when it comes to my dietary subsistence and yet so rubbish at all other forms of discipline? Take this blog as an example. I have established to myself that I love to write, that it ticks several boxes for me. Whether I have any talent or not is a moot point. My subject matter should be irrelevant as long as I am actually writing. However, this leads me to question whether my dominant preoccupation with self and my obsession with food-related issues is a two-edged sword. It gives…
FROZEN- figurative or literal ?
The word ‘ habit ‘ is sometimes a kinder terminology than ‘ addiction ‘. However, in my case, saying that I have habits is a form of denial because what I actually have is an addiction. This was never more apparent to me than this morning. I had already started to fret about my daily routine/ritual/call it what you will , last night. The tussle began whilst I was eating my dinner. I ‘ over-did ‘ it and ate, horrors of horrors, TWO poached eggs with my 4 brussel sprouts, 2 florets of broccoli, spoonful of corn and slice of butternut. Its…