I’m struggling to know where to start. Do I need to deal with what I do first or do I start with why I do it before I can move on to how to fix it? How can one process exist in isolation from the other? They are all intertwined afterall.
An immediate vision springs to mind: I think of the magnificent Ebony trees that I have encountered over the years when on safari in South Africa. I draw parallels between the tree and myself. I see the solid trunk that I aliken to my central core, my soul, that part of me that constitutes my central character – inherent personality traits and God-given attributes and gifts. Arising from the trunk are many branches: some stronger and more prominent than others- those that are exposed appear to be either flourishing or else looking a little weather worn and beaten by the elements. So it is with our various characteristics and behaviours, – some cause us to shine and thrive whilst others are no longer serving us as well as before and are no longer as attractive. Then there are the branches that are hidden – behaviour that is not apparent to others but that never-the-less continues to furtively survive and grow. Finally, I have seen enormous trees that are struggling to survive because they are being slowly strangled by a parasitic plant that has wrapped itself around the trunk and is feeding off the host. This causes some of the tree to starve and die off but if one tries to remove the parasite completely, the most damage will be done to the host tree. The best way to remove a parasite is to trim the branches of the parasite and paint the ends to prevent them from sprouting again. So it is with us. I don’t believe that you can ever completely eradicate certain unhealthy practices and habits – I think one will always have a propensity towards addictions if one has an addictive personality. One has to rather live with the risks and instead find ways of circumnavigating them and avoiding them whenever possible. The memories will always be part of our personal history and will serve to remind us of the toxicity of certain practices and behaviour. As a consequence then, as it is with a tree, its more likely that we wouldn’t want to remove the paint from its branches to enable the parasite to grow again.
If the body of that addiction or behaviour remains attached to our inner core, then, like the tree parasite that has been disabled with paint but is still attached to the host tree, perhaps, like the parasite, our parasites , once disabled, can be used in the future to good effect – with us having compassion and the knowledge to help others struggling with similar addictions. One wouldn’t want to denude the bushveld of tree parasites because one would deplete a valuable food source of winter feed from the birds. Some parasites are interesting plants in their own right producing attractive colours and attracting birds in the dry season. So can our own parasites be used positively and fruitfully for the benefit of others.
