One of the biggest impediments and stumbling block to change has to be the concept of guilt. Whilst a conscience and realisation of something untoward that one may have done is good because it elicits some degree of culpability, feeling guilty about it doesn’t necessarily have the same desired effect. The former is likely to be something one has said or done that wounds another. The latter in many instances is about one’s behaviour ( eating or drinking too much, overspending, neglecting chores to rather sleep in or watch daytime TV etc ) and this is where the term ‘ guilty pleasures ‘ arises. This oxymoron seems to be expressed and felt more by women – somehow blokes seem capable of behaving ‘ badly ‘ without feeling any compunction to feel guilty about it. The guilt we feel is also more likely to wound only ourselves which then serves to make us feel bad about ourselves thus leading to the cycle of negative behaviour and self loathing that is instant fodder for most forms of addiction.
Feeling guilty and self condemnation is another stumbling block to faith. If I am such a bad, unlikeable person and feel so negatively about myself and my behaviour, how then could God forgive me let alone love me? All of those Christians who know their bible would know the verse in Romans 8:1 that says: ‘ There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus ‘. However, I know many Christians, myself included who still struggle to accept and comprehend this concept that is intrinsic to our faith. This is another very complex debate that I won’t get into now!
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we were all strong enough , once we have recognised that we have done something we ought not to, to walk away and to truly not mimic that behaviour again as a consequence? Sadly, we are all only human after all and far from perfect so we are bound to mess up now and again…. and again….and again …. and again…..
